How do I handle survivor’s guilt?
Anchor Gate: Grief & Loss
Relevant
How do I handle survivor’s guilt? is a real part of grief—nothing is “wrong” with you for feeling it. This page names the pattern and pairs it with tools that are small, safe, and finishable today.
Why this happens
Acute grief narrows attention, disrupts sleep and appetite, and shrinks capacity. Stress and reminders can keep the system stuck. Without safety and structure, avoidance and overwhelm take over.
What changes it
Two levers create lift: physiological safety (sleep, light, breath, movement) and specific micro‑actions tied to values (rituals, scripts, tiny plans). Together they update the brain’s threat map and increase the window of tolerance.
The path out
- Name the pattern. One sentence a camera could verify.
- Reset the body. 60–120s before decisions.
- Pick one tool. Do it end‑to‑end; log one proof‑of‑change.
- Protect capacity. Add one boundary; subtract one drain.
- Review weekly. Keep what works; tweak one thing.